Tomorrow will be the last day of this year.Preparations for the New Year are reaching a crescendo all around me.People are all ready to go out and party.Not me.I prefer the quiet sanctity of my house to anything else.Hey,even i have apointments to keep up to,but I don't think I'll be able to do justice to them.Well,we have planned something but I have an ominous feeling about it not going to work out.Any ways,to the rest of you guys out there
Happy New Year!!
I'll resume my writing from the New Year.It's my resolution ;-)
There is something about man and machines that touch the deep instincts,regardless of their depth.I specifically stress on Man and Machine,as I don't know much about girls ;-) No,seriously.Look around you.You'll find teenagers zipping past in bikes,cars and rollerskates(the latest IN thing after Dhoom2).I mean....I don't understand.Why does everybody want to drive something?Strange.My friends drive bikes,cars,cycles and when they have time left,they drive me nuts.I,personally enjoy being pillion.It is a separate experience.
I do not exactly remember when,but I think it was on a cousin's bike that I got my first pillion ride.I was taken from the second I sat on it.It felt amazing.I jumped on to the bandwagon.From that day on,whenever somebody asked me,if I needed a lift I never said never again.I heard that!!@#^* I assure you I am not that lazy.I walk about a mile to college......whenever i go there ....in every......week.Coming back to the story...from that day on I loved anything with wheels on it.
My adventures with wheels began in my summer vacations after school.I was at my uncle's place and decided to learn the bicycle.It was a tough call.Basically,since I wore glasses.Yeah,I could hardly walk straight on my feet without them.But,I had decided.So,I started cycling.You gotta give it to my bros coz they hung on to me even at the cost of their bikes.I don't know exactly how many times I crashed it,but I guess it was a lot.I bumped quite a few people,some kids and hurt myself sore.Worst case....I broke my glasses,I didn't even have a spare back then.I had to spend a week walking like a blind man.In the end,my perseverance paid off.I had learnt to ride the bicycle.Though I lost interest in it very soon thereafter.Do I need to add,that my bicycle is still rotting somewhere.
I had grown up.No longer for me,the silly bicycle.I had my eyes set on bigger and better things.The noise of an engine vrrooming and revving up excited me more.I desired to learn to drive those mean machines.But as usual,soon lost the drive.I realised that driving required the usage of brains,which I HAD,but hardly use.So I concentrated on other means to enjoy a ride.Suddenly the benefits of being a pillionrider caught my eye.
Now look at it.Being a pillion rider is the easiest way to enjoy a long drive.Of course,you run the risk of injuring yourself worse than the driver and can hardly hear a word spoken by him(except in a car),but weigh it against the perks - Heckle the driver without a care,keep nagging him,take in the sights without a rush or worry,eat your snacks without having to hurriedly swallow them.See,such fun.Also the view is great.So who wants to drive,worry about the traffic,signals,etc.So since then,much to the chagrin of the drivers,I ride pillion all the time.
Of all the subjects I have,or am suposed to have,studied in school,college tuition class etc there never was,is or will be one as hated and derogatory as MATHEMATICS!!No,really,I mean it.I know there are people that would be hurt to read this,but guys sorry.I have to tell the truth someday.
I was born a very intelligent kid,education ruined me and vice versa. Seriously,I was supposed to be the hope for the future (Hey!! that's what my parents told me). Sadly,I was put into a school.I did exceptionally well the first three years.My teachers beleived that I was a genius in the making,many of them adored me.I was an outstanding student,not the kind you think though!!
The slide in my form began when I was in the sixth standard.Until then,I had no problem with a commonly known subject named Maths.I had not yet come face to face with my arch-nemesis-to-be.Then I got problems in the real sense of the term.What with Simple Interest(which was in no means simple,nor did it raise any interest from me),Compound Interest ( All it compounded was my troubles), Vulgar fractions( true to its word).I took blow after blow. Round one - Maths.
Enter Higher Secondary Mathematics.My first Board Exams were in the offing.I pored over books day and night( all right ,not all the time).Maths, was one big pain in the wrong place for me.I grappled with problems of various complex algebraic expressions,lines angles and tangents.None of whiich had any use for me,at least none I could think of.Add to that all kinds of areas,surface areas,curved surface areas,volumes.I have no idea how I cleared my papers? The volume formulae were travelling at a parabolical curve parallel to my head by an overtly obtuse angle( HOW I LOVE THIS SENTENCE!!!).Trignometry passed me,like the bully in school,giving me dirty looks.I had an irresistible temptation to catch the textbook and rip it apart,though I never gathered enough guts to do it.I proceeded further in life,hoping I might escape the clutches of this devil.
College.A place where I assumed I would be free.A massive mistake!!I was about to face the more complex mathematical calculations of my life.Calculus,Derivatives,Integrals,trignometry and the Lord knows what!!Yeah,I know.Life is unfair.No prizes for guessing that I could not take it any more.I was knocked clean off my feet.One,Two,Three and Pinfall!the family was shocked.We never had such ignominy amongst ourselves.What would the world say!!I was stunned.Needless to say,I have recovered partially from that vicious right hook that the subject of mathematics gave me on that fateful day. Obviously,I cleared my paper later.And you are right If you guessed that I dropped the subject.Yup,I chose ARTS and turned philosopher(Everyone who suffers,knows about life's traps).
Since then,I have left all mathematical calculations alone in peace.Albeit some small ones are done by me,the rest I do not even try on the calculator.For me,some things are never to be.or to literally translate a saying in my mother tongue "If you see the devil,leave him alone".
Till a week ago,I was among the lesser and deprived class.People looked down upon me,refused to consider me as an equal.I was pitied upon by some,criticized by others.NEvertheless,I stood out in my class.No,I still was not hte best student or the most honest either.I was the only one in my class,who did not have a mobile phone!!!
The mobile phone....I do not know hwen the trend began,but it spread rapidly.What with the falling prices of this seemingly hot commodity,people gave up the landline connexion as forgotten.All they use it for today is the internet,if at all they have a dial up connection.The mobile is one thing any young,old or middle aged person can't seem to do without.Everywhere i look,I find people insolently chatting away on their sleek gizmos.I wonder if they are the same people,who are so quiet when asked a question?Strange are the ways of the connecting-people.
One thing I grant this "mobile Revolution,it has broken down the divide between the classes namely - Upper,Middle,Lower.I remember last week,as I was going to collegewith my friend.He was fiddling with his plaything,trying to impress me with its capabilities.I was totally put off,since I myself did not have a mobile.The auto driver - May the Lord have mercy upon his soul - i suppose,sensed this.As we got down,the damn machine rang.My dear brutus,instinctively went for his only to find that he was at the wrong phone.The sound emanating was from the Rickshaw driver's pocket.I watched amused,as the driver picked it up,exihibiting the costly piece.That for you was a simple daily incident,for me it was an act symbolising how narrow the divide between classes has become.Of Course,I am speaking without the rural idea of the economy.But,you get the picture.
On the worse side,technology has its faults and harms,in this case greivous ones.I often see people garbling in their own inimitable voices near hospitals,schools even cemetaries,innocent of the knowledgeable harm they cause to people around them.These,however,can be forgiven in a metropol like Bombay,what really irks me is the drone of some insensitive idiot on his deary piece,when I,of all people I,am talking to him.Technology does not have a heart,it could not be more in your face.
I was a vehement opposer of this branch of technology,called mobile communications;till last week.If you had met me then,I would have proudly shown off that I have something you do not,freedom from a machine.I was a complete man,without a mechanical piece jutting out from my ears,or sitting heavily in my pocket for you to see.But Alas!!!I too fall.Aye,my dear friends,I too have a mobile today.I am now tied to forcibly listen to somebody garbling on the other line,wherever I may be,excuses of "weak network" notwithstanding. I realise that now,more than ever in history,is man dependant on machines.Long far is not the day when machines will cease to be slaves,conquer and HG Wells would say,albeit smilingly,from his grave,"I told you so".
Its a very cheerful morning.The sun is shining high and bright in the sky,which looks as if somebody just painted it.People are on the run.Most of them have reached their respective offices and are going through the tasks that the day has set for them.Fortunately,I have nothingto do today.I guess,I am one of the few lucky ones who watch time rushing past them and never suffer the temptation of trying to stop it.For people like me,the sun always shines.
You might call me lazy,or even a day-dreamer,but as John lennon would add, I am not the only one.Personally I love lazing around,watching people hurry to keep up to their deadlines,struggle to fulfilll promises and suffer through hours of work.Of course,some of them love doing it.I know my dad loves working till he's absolutely drained.He says it helps him forget troubles and gives him deep sleep.Maybe,but I would still prefer taking things slowly.For,I love to live life as it was a precious vintage wine,Smell,feel,sip,and then feel.
My mom has always questioned my attitude.I remember her asking me to do things more seriously,I could not.I beleive life is too short to work very hard and too long to take a nap.Right now,I can afford to take a nap.as time,the ever cunning thief,passes me by, I as the others would be joining the mad rush - the rat race - as they call it.So don't be surprised if you would see me somewhere as a harried young man,working gruelling hours in an office.But then,maybe you won't see me at all.I wonder at the strangeness of people forgetting to realise the magnificence of nature,even man,as they run about doing their work.About a lakh of busybodies pass from the Victoria Terminus or the Mumbai Chattrapati Shivaji teminus,as it is called today,and do not notice the awing edifice that towers them.Most of them are busy enough hinking what mood their boss is in today.They do not realise that even in a very tense situation,little observations and sillythings might calm the mind and soothe the soul.Why else did Wilde say "To calm the senses by the soul,and the soul by the senses.That is the aim of life."
It is difficult to be like i am all your life,even for me.I might change,no,I know i will.All I hope for is that the change is not very extreme,that i may still withold the calmness to see all that is beauty in things.
Books are the best friends a man can get.Yup,you heard it right.don't listen to some stupid guy just for the sake that he's hung around with you long enough to be your coat hanger.Maybe,I should rephrase that sentence( You see..My friends visit this blog);-).BTW,where was I?Yeah,Books.As i was saying...boy,I sound like an intellectual already,You may go to a friend when he is free.At times,when your friends are out selfishly eating alone,you meanwhile are sitting in a dark corner of your room writing nonsense in your blog or just slumbering not knowing what to do,Books are the best support that you have.
The following content may be a bit silly and nostalgic.For all those people who hate reading,sorry.
I have been a voracious reader,the most exact definition of the word.My father being quite a literateur himself,initiated me into this magical world pretty early in my age.At three,as the restof the people my age were going goo-goo-gaa-gaa-giggle,I was s-h-itting over my pa's newspapers.Of course my mom was annoyed.she thought one literature buff was hard enough to contend with.I progressed pretty fast.At five I began speaking my first word in english Ma ;-).My father would bring me loads of comic books.These proved to be the first education I got in fictional literature.I vaguely remember poring over dozens of phantom,mandrake the magician,spiderman and old western comics.
As i entered school,I gobbled up the education offered to me,quite literally.Once i had to be rushed to the school nurse for swallowing paper.Though i changed later,my appetite for books remained the same.I graduated to reading Fab Four,Magnificent seven etc but my favourite still was the old peter pan book.Something of its dreaminess and fantasy attracted me.By secondary,the world had recognised my talent.Teacher's loved me,students adored me,my parents smiled at me.But then something changed.As i entered college,I fell prey to the temptations that freedom stood to offer.Although my marks fell,my literary knowledge was steadily accumulating.The college library was my place for sometime,here i read Gandhi,Ludlum,Isaac Asimov,HG Wells,Dickens,Hemingway.But my pick always was the"Bard".I beleived nobody portrayed human emotions as wonderfully as him.The jealousy of othello,greed of shylock,vengeance of hamlet,pride of caesar.
Then i failed my exams.I suffered ignominy for procrastinating my studies.I thought i could never be anything in life.Maybe I was to fail and perish in the sands of time,without leaving a footprint.But even then,my family,especially my dad,did not lose hope in me.I wanted to be a journalist(high hopes for pea brain),but they beleived in me.I used to read in the free time that i got.I read Mulk raj anand,RKNarayan,Paulo Coelho,John Grisham,Robin Sharma.I loved their books.I was inspired and passed my exam eventually.
Today,I am doing my bachelors in Arts,with English literature as a subject.I would not have dropped it for the world.I have been through different stages of my life.The spring of childhood,The summer of adoloscence,the winter of my teenage,the autumn of my boyishness and am at the threshold beholding the spring again.I have had my share of friends,some good,some better.But none as best as them from the world of books.I still haven't read all great authors and most certainly haven't heard many greater ones,but all of them will be there when i turn to them for help.BTW,I still am reading.I have progressed to Milton,Wilde,Tolstoy.But the feeling of holding a book in my hand has not changed a bit.And I do not think it ever will.
Sitting here in front of the computer, I can hardly think up of a topic to write about.Well,i have to write something i guess.Lets see...hmmm....how about my college.So here you go....
I am a young boy,not yet out of his teens-neither too young to be called a teenager.Like all fortunate youth of this country,I have to study in order to succeed in life...or at least thet is what everybody says.I am not your good student-son-human image kind of a boy.To tell the truth,I hardly attend college.And on those occassions that i do,lectures are mostly cancelled.Maybe my profs have developed an allergy towards me.But i love my college,I hope that it would say the same about me.
Living in one of the faraway suburbs of a mega metropolis like mumbai,I did not have a large option of colleges to choose from ( Not that we do not have the facilities,My marks were pretty bad,worse rather).So I chose a college that i could afford rather than like.Well,it wasn't so bad after all.I was informed that my year would start in July.
I attended my first lecture after about three weeks of the start of the academic year.I assure you that i was not the first person to do so,and most certainly not the last either.We,students have a rather mythical or even delusional view about college life.For us,entering college means not wearing uniforms,bunking lectures,and obviously growing up.Though that is not true for a huge portion of the academia,it most certainly is the law for idiots like me.
I started off very popularly.There are various "Groups"in colleges.There are the " Hot guys","Cool Guys","Nerds","Bullies","Average Joes" etc etc.I,though wasn't made to be in one single group.When you are as smart,cool,funny and yeah..handsome as i am,forgive me the self-praise,you know you'll get along with everybody like fish and chips.I was thronged by boys and girls...well,maybe not girls..but definitely boys.I'll add that I am a thoroughly straight person,but this popularity came as a surprise.
I soon found out what i had to do here.I joined the camps organised,the literature club and the drama.Though i never got the lead role in any drama( the prof was biased),i managed to hold my ground.As for studies,I wasn't doing that bad.The arrival of our first term brought my attention to the only weakness in my armour - Attendance.Well,i managed to get it solved with some help from my acquaintances.You see,if anyone needs my answer sheets during the exams,he ought to be prepared for doing something.Nothing comes for free.So my profs were absolutely stunned when they found me having an 78% attendance record.
It's been half a year since i joined college.I think i've achieved quite a lot for six months,though i am not content with it.You might wonder whether all this is true,Maybe yes;maybe not.I,for one,have lived through all this and will continue to do so.
Hmmm..the day has been pretty nonchalant so far.Nothing has happened till now.Well,nothing exceptional ,that is.I woke up this morning late again.So late,that it was no use even going to college.No wonder my disliking profs hardly recognise me when i,on certain special occassions,sit for their lectures.I remember my politics prof being very political towards me by asking me to define those things which he knew i would not know.Coming back to the present,after having my breakfast i took some time off reading newspaper,watching tv and roaming around.Hope i might build up the heart to pick up my book and study for a while.It has been a while since i did that,Also i need to go to the univ to check out their german language course.My friend has been asking me to do it for quite some time.I really gotta pull up me socks ,maan!The problem is .....they stink!!!
What a day!I hardly could rest for a moment. The day started on a very serious note.I woke up very early...and by that i mean very early,at around 6 am.But then,i could not keep my eyes open for very long.I just closed them for a moment,and the next time i opened them it was 8.30.Damn!!gotta rush to college.I already missed the 7 am lecture(not that i make it everyday).a quick shower,brush and coffee and i am off.
Phew! I reached college almost in time for my third lecture.All i didn't know was that i had a surprise in waiting.There were to be no lectures today on account of some silly day being celebrated in Junior college.That is a relief.The rest of my time was spent hanging around our indoor sports room.At about 11.30,me and my friends could hear our stomachs grumbling.You see,one cup of coffee and some breakfast hardly fills teenage stomachs,You oughtta see some of my more famished acquaintances to realise the acute hunger and poverty in india!The only problem in sight was that we are a greedy group of robbers who never pay for their food.We find some 'BAKRA' who would do that for us.Did we find someone? You betcha!
Back home.Well,i don't do anything at home,so i decided that i fill up this mostly empty webspace. Hope you read it!
Today is a day of redemption for me.I have been promising that i would go to the gym for days,no,months now.I never made it past the gate.Since childhood,i was never the physical type.You would be accurate if you pictured me as an introverted,intellectual,bespectacled,thin,not very tall boy. I hardly remember myself going for a game of cricket,football,or anything for that matter.You would find me in the library...I even knew the librarian by her name.Then something happened.As I entered my late teens, I began to realise the disastrous effect of my physique on my personality.All around me i saw boys taller,more well built than me.The teachers in college hardly noticed me( that you could defer to the lack of visibility owing to the taller dumbass sitting ahead of me)I lost confidence.All my years of putting faith in the power of wisdom were a waste.I decided to put an end to this suffering.I resolved to change myself into the ultimate male that everyone adores and respects.I decided that one day i am going to take on the class bully and ground him to dust and....Ok,maybe i am overreacting.Hmmm.....To say i was 'pumped up' would be an understatement, But the lack of courage and conviction never allowed me to enter the restricted area of the place.I often visualised the Gym as a place where a human being was turned into a mass of muscle,as often shown on TV.To tell the truth,I wasn't very comfortable with the idea of exhibiting myweak body frame in front of some brawny muscleman who would,for obvious reasons be snickering in his heart.Well, finally i did join the gym.And i am further informing you that this was my first week there.How was it?Well,For a start,I am not able to get up and walk straight in the mornings because of the pain in my back,legs etc.I lack the strength to lift my left arm as i think i might have pulled my muscle.AND...the bruise on my right shoulder stings....before you ask,i dropped SOMETHING on it.Now,if you think that i will continue going there ,you are either too optimistic or some nutcase philosopher.My brother here says i might be exaggerating the injuries a bit but i assure you that the pain i am going through disagrees with his saying.I think i was fine with the only load on mmy head being that of a pending exam,not a real headache caused by over exertion
I have no interest in religion,god and things supernatural( though i wouldn't mind aliens,ghosts,).And i hate to waste my sundays on things like these.Unfortunately i am born in a chaste south-indian hindu brahmin family with so devout a lineage that if i made an attempt i could introduce you to god.So i have to take care that i keep up the reputation of the family at social gatherings( not that i've managed to do it).Most of our social gatherings happen under the pretext of a religious function.Such happenings are the places where south indian mami's gossip with one another on topics ranging from the food to somebody's marriage.My behaviour in such places ought to be utmost proper.The family deity had come visiting to my city,and my parents did not want to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity.I had to tag along. As i stood there in the mile-long queue,i wondered if god really looked at all these people and ever wondered what to do with them.Imagine a 4 lac people mob coming to see you,Heck!Elvis might not have seen that popularity.I watched people in all kinds of attires, devoutly praying and chanting.I have a strong dislike towards rituals.Hinduism,on the contrary,is solely made up of rituals.So i often cross paths with the elders of my family.As i was bumming up standing in the snail line,under the hot afternoon sun,i spoke aloud on the blind faith on god.Unfortunately,for me,an young hexagenarian behind me heard it.He launched himself into a long advice on what is the importance of religion.I cringed and thought that maybe this was the reason Marx,had invented socialism.The drone was so long that i hardly noticed it was time for us to have darshan.As i enterd and had a look at the idol,astrange thought crossed my mind.The idol was a golden one.At the first look you might have noticed it to be of a man with four arms( VISHNU).THE smile on his face was beatific.Nowonder,people thronged to see it.But was it really god? Iremembered Voltaire " If god created us in his likeness,we have returned him the favor". It felt strangely true.I bent down and prostrated before the idol,i sensed my defeat.Though i did not accept him as god i still paid my respects to him,like a respectable foe.I looked at the faces off my parents,they were blissful.Maybe,i thought,this is the hope on which they as well as crores of other people,carry on with their lives.