Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The End - A fictional thought.

I can't see straight.The
tears in my eyes are blurring everything in view.The more i try not to cry,the faster they come out of my eyes.My insides are boiling.The pain is unbearable.it is as though a lava of hate is boiling over and threatening to spill out.I can't breathe.My head feels like a inflated balloon that is about to explode.It aches like hell.My bdy is trembling.all ican hear or think is curses.I want to gouge my eyes out,but my hands can't find them.I grab at the curtains and pull them down.The sunlight pours in on me like a pack of wolves on a lamb.

I feel everything in the room staring at me.as though scoffing and laughing at this unusually weird behaviour of their owner.I can hear their harsh laughs.They crash against the walls of the room and echo ten folds.Hate builds within me a euphoria of rage.I slam the nearest window and it crashes into pieces.I heave and drag the TV out of its corner and tip it over the edge.It slams face first,with sparks flying through its back.The beast inside me has by now woken up.I grab my bat and vent its prowess on the stereo.It cracks open within two blows,but keeps on humming.I bring the bat down on it agin,and again and again.Until both the bat and the stereo are done for.

I am breathless but intoicated ny the rage.I put my back to the wall,feet to the back of the cupboard and push it down.The room shakes under the crash.The walls begin to tremble in fear....of me.The cupboard lies on the floor,stricken by my anger.ike a giant redwood felled by lightning.I now take the curtain rod to be my weapon.It serves the purpose.By the next blow,my computer monitor is faceless.I pick the cpu and throw it out of the window,That is how you send 20,000 rupees flying.I throw the keyboard towards the door where it stops after hitting the door with an awkward thwack.

My hands are bleeding.But i can't feel the pain.Almost senseless,I am out of my mind,out of control.The room is destroyed,my anger isn't.I turn the curtain rod on myself.I feel dizzy,but unhurt.I hold the mirror and crash my face into it.The mirror now looks as bloody as my face.Teh burning inside me has increased.I kick the sink til i stop feeling my leg.

I am in a mess.The room round me bears witness to the existence of a beast.But nothing is completely prefect,not even destruction.Not until its cause becomes its end.I pick up the kitchen knife,it shines as i hold it up against the light.A wicked shine it is.One of a deceptive nature,that can feed you as well as kill you.I hold the hilt to my neck,blade downwards.My hands tremble as i ponder over the final moments.One wish icould have had,one thing i wanted to do,or one moment that i want to live forever.Too late.

I am sitting in the hall,my body streaming in sweat.The pain has begun to creep upon me slowly,i am hurting all over.Anger and Hate - two of my worst enemies and worser of friends - took me on and beat me.The blood gusjing out of my stomach is proof of that.The world has niw slowly begun to fade.The last sight of my sinful life is that of a destroyed room crying in pain.

I wake up with as much pain as i was in,but now i am alive.Newly born.

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