Monday, December 22, 2008

Musings

Under a fading light
That bent in a slant
As it entered empty halls
I walked the road with her
'Do me a favour', said she
'Say not a word'.
And so i spoke in silence
And listened
As she spoke in the voices of angels
That were long lost in the skies,
now black as her eyes;
No,her hair,her long black tresses
That flowed down her back
In wayward curls,
Curls that flowed back and forth
In the wind
Like the ebbing sea.
She parted her lips
But no sound came out
The wind carried her voice
Far away from me into the deep woods
where a black myna sang
her praise.
An hour past,or was it a day
when she stood up silently
And went her way.
As the night gathered its followers
and rented the air with hollow chants
I walked away
My back towards her way
No voice called,nor a step heard.


Friday, December 19, 2008

A spirited respite

The sun shrinks slowly behind the tree on the college campus.It is a burning afternoon and i,once again,am in a poetic mood.It is not unusual.Though the fact that I am not entirely in my senses is.The images of people swim before my eyes,as the wind feels like water.....

We walked in pretty high already in the morning.It was my friend's birthday.So we stray dogs knew that someone was gonna feed us today.That is one thing about staying in the college the whole day.Make sure you have somebody to feed you.After all,you can't pay for everything everyday.Infact,we never pay for anything anyday....Good thing,I study in a gujju majority college...MAy they prosper and progress.

The plan was decided.NObody tells me anything these days.We were gonna fill it up and go bottoms up.My friends were a little free-spirited considering that they had just made presentations of their projects(the work on which i had done).Christmas was on the way,and New Year waits impatiently.I,on the other hand,was pending for both my projects.My profs were getting crankier by the day,and girlfriends bossier.

"You better meet me in the Library by 12 today,H".MY professor.A short,stocky,grey haired lady frowned at me.She was one of those who remind you of somebody in your family.I nodded solemnly.Langston Hughes.A poet,I've never read.And that is my project.Forget the other one where I've a choice between scriptwriting and copywriting.Somebody tell me how they do any of these....

I walked down to our regular meeting place.A bench opposite to the cricket ground,right where a lot of girls walk past to the canteen.The plan was announced in a very cheery fashion.I was dazed.Apologies and rejections never matter when you are in a minority of 1 to 6.I was half dragged to the place.TO save my remaining integrity,which was soon to be lost,i walked in to the ninth circle of hell.

The glasses were plain,simple,and tall.I watched as the beer fizzed up to the brim.I faked a cheer.And then after the first glass,there was none....I meant the hesitation.We soon were singing 'Yeh dosti" and "Happy Birthday to you" in chorus at Royal Albert Hall,London.

The watchmen spied me suspiciously as i walked past them.My pant was a little lower than usual.I was quieter as i missed more than a couple of hellos and hi's..I walked right to our seat.The revolutions of planet earth made themselves clear to me..I had reached a point where as Yeats said "Language ceases to be the mode of expression for your emotions"...It was half past eleven.And i did not even know it for sure.

The loo felt as warm as the quilt on a wintry night.I sighed and pissed with a sense of relief.The five cups of coffee were working,or at least i hoped they were."This is the limit ,H",she screamed.The fist of bangles shook as it hit the table.I barfed.I could see blood rise to the excesively powdered face.I stayed as calm as i could."You are going into the library right now,and getting as much work as possible done.You have a week to submit your projects"..."And get a hold of yourself"..I staggered out of the cabin.Steady,H,eaaasy now...

The library was a respite.I propped up my book and went to sleep.Langston hughes be damned by milton.I love Wordsworth....

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Of War and Peace

Freedom!! A word so casually used nowadays....The price of which is far too great for one who has lost it. Which leads us to the question, who owns it today? Is there any man out there in this forlorn planet who can claim himself to be free? We are all bound by something. Ideas, Customs, Prejudices or Passion. But most of us can proclaim ourselves to be free. At least act on our own will....in some place we can call our own. Our homes, for instance.

Friends and allies, I send you this SOS today to announce that my turf has been invaded upon with no logical reason. I am under siege in my own house. This happened exactly 45 days ago.Seems like such a long time now…..

HE was..is a Software Engineer from Bengaluru(where else).He came to my house as he had nowhere else to go to in Mumbai.How does he know me? He is the friend of the son of an uncle whom I have’nt seen in 15 years. H wanted a place to stay in for 3 days before his company allotted him a place. That sounded okay.Yeah…whats wrong with helping out a guy in need.But I knew better. I read history ,Dude!! Foreign guests coming over for a friendly trade staying over for ages ,sounds familiar???

When the week ended, I asked dad if the ‘guest’ had found a place to stay.Dad frowned at me.Labelled me unsocial,hostile freak.First blood drawn.I can take that from my dad,been doing it for 21 years now.I don’t mind if somebody shows me in bad light to my parents,does’nt take too much effort to do that.But I hate it when I am asked to act as a chauffeur to people my age.I hate that!!Why on earth would a 25 year old along with a couple of his friends need a chauffeur for??? HE can’t move around a city on his own??

You know what I hate about guests? No.I can tolerate their habits,their needs and requests.What pisses me off is their judgements,and the fear of the hosts about their judgements.Since the arrival of this visitor,my parents have me on barracks restrictions. No littering,no eating junk food,no late night tv,no surfing on the net after 11,no calling over my friends and the worst of all…Visit the temple every Saturday.Why? Because HE does!!!!

I hve always been the ‘other’ I my own house.So what if I am the rightful heir of my father’s property.He is a good boy,because he has a job,a salary of 30ks and never speaks against my parents.He goes to the temple,follows rituals and has friends who do the same(so he says)…I asked him as I was chauffering him past the Marine Drive ( 2 weeks before 26/11). “Want a ciggie?”. “No,I do not smoke.Bad for the lungs.”…a few minutes later again “ What do you plan to do on New year’s Eve? Hang out with your friends at a pub? Load on a few pegs more than usual?”..”No.I do not drink.Bad for the liver.”

I thought for a while and muttered to myself. ” I bet you do not think either.Bad for the brain…son of a *$#@X!!!!!”

Its been 45 days…I have waited patiently this long,for nature to take its own course.I mean no ill to this man,but he has intruded on my territory so long,that it feels alien to me.He sits on my computer whenever he wants,watches his programs on MY Television, He has lived after he told me arts is a very easy course to take.For fools and philosophers.That was the most pathetically rude jke I’ve ever heard.If he is still alive,its because I am a believer in the kinder nature of human character.But that was that!!!

I stand upon the threshold of a war beginning…upon invasion of privacy.The time has come when a man’s gotta do what he gotta do.I have been oppressed,humiliated,enslaved.

Gone is a time when I would have asked him to know his limits. That has passed with the last bend on the road.Now I want him outta here.POORNA SWARAJYA!!! And I swear upon Lucifer, I’ll see it happen.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Revelation

The flame rises
Past dark corridors and black ceilings
To skies unknown
The smoke moans out of windows
To be carried
On the backs of a raging storm
Across a lulled sea
The gulls fight over their fish
cawing and clawing
As the rest of the fish watch from the bottom.
The clouds hide the red sky
While the sanguine sun sinks itself .
Its bloody robes leaving a mark on the background
A lone eye loiters
Intently capturing the moment
Till the portrait becomes a part of it
A tear rolls out
Out of its fortress,stubbornly it takes form
White,spotless,pure
Every atom of its existence carrying a pain
Deep,obtuse and hidden
The pain struggles to be contained
And rushes past
Careful hands that seek to hold it
Crashing to earth
And shattering to a million fragments
Each a million more
Emitting a radiance so bright
That cannot be seen
Unless a million more eyes wake
And take in that sight
Of an immortal struggle of light against darkness
Till the sea itself washed ashore
And took with it every light that eye could discern
And the world was dark
Dark beyond darkness
A darkness that neither sound nor light could pierce
And out of that darkness
Rose a flame,its yellow tongues licking the pitch black air
Till the air caught fire
And every being was enveloped in it
The fire was all
The universe was in it
And the eye that held it,saw everything.
The vision saw what it created
And created anew as it saw.