Saturday, October 31, 2009

Naked Truth!!!

I will never understand hindus. No, I do not speak as a general statement. There are a lot of things that I do not understand about my religion. On the one hand it is the most openly varied religion that is, and the other hand it holds all the sanctions and constraints that I can think of. But the issue that bothers me most, is the refusal of contemporary civilized humans to accept nudity in its natural form.As though we are so ugly that it is shameful. Why should we be ashamed of ourselves?? If I got a chance I’d walk around naked through the city…Maybe not. But we’ll get to that later.

Man is such a hypocritical being. We all accept the fact that there is no other means of creation possible, other than the method of ‘Original Sin’, if I may use that term. Adam needs an eve, so why condemn it as a sin? Another thing that bothers me is the snobbishness regarding nudity. More so Hindus objecting to this in works of art.. Gimme a break!!! If you were to condemn nudity, we wouldn’t have a Hindu culture. They are the people who worship a male phallus embedded within the cervix ( the Shiva linga). Oh, but that is okay. OF course it is okay!! I remember one of my tours to the elephanta where a foreigner was asking a tour guide what the linga was. The guide just left at the fact that it is lord Shiva. Why are we so ashamed of ourselves? If ‘God’ wanted us to be civilized and ‘decent’ he would have sent us with clothes!!! How many works of art would you vandalize to ban nudity? Michelangelo’s ‘David’, “the Venus De Milo’. Go ahead, destroy a few Davincis and Raphael’s on the way. You might as well consider banning the ‘Ramayana’ by Valmiki, where he describes Rama in his entire ‘fullness’.

And what about ‘Lord Shiva’? I like him. He is a rock star. Long hair, no clothes(do not believe those deerskin clad pics) happy forever. HE drinks when he wants, smokes cannabis and dances to the music of the dead. He does not care for society, not for money or the well being of other gods. He lives in a graveyard, or in the most arid places. No wonder then that among the Hindu trinity, he is the only one bestowed with the artistic qualities of song and dance. Nataraja!!!

Art is different. It raises human thought and passions to another level. To see beyond what is and to portray what could be. Nothing is more pure than truth itself to be portrayed. And truth never comes clad in Ralph Lauren suits and Gucci shoes. It is stark naked. There is a sense of vulnerability in nakedness. A consciousness’ of our tender skin and temporal body. A constant awareness of death. Maybe that is why we are afraid. And to show our ‘gods’ naked would be to bring them down to the same plane. But aren’t they all trying to show us the same. That the images we create for them are temporal. They’ll change as ages progress.

I like MF Hussein. The guy is a star. When he wins plaudits abroad, he is an “Indian Artist’. So why can’t he portray Hindu gods and goddesses as they are in the temple of Khajuraho..Naked!!! Just because he is a muslim, he offends your senses?? What sense?? The nonsense, I presume!! Wake up people!! You were born naked, with your little willy dangling, or without it… The greatest work of art, a human child, is naked.

  As Adam early in the morning,
  Walking forth from the bower refresh'd with sleep,
  Behold me where I pass, hear my voice, approach,
  Touch me, touch the palm of your hand to my body as I pass,
  Be not afraid of my body.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Beggar Boy

Born of sin and death,
In some dark corner of the light;
He walks the unknown lanes
Sniffing on coke and meth.
You might have seen him some day
A small thin boy
About 10-12 years of age;
His eyes shining with a dying light,
Skin battered and bruised
By the forces of wanton hunger;
He spreads his palm out wide,
Lines of happiness and death scratched out;
It trembles in the cold wind
As lips sing an unholy tune
Moving a parched tongue to speak
To unmoving sculptures of stone

Sunday, October 25, 2009

To Myself

I picked up the stem and lit the end, dragging in a few puffs as the embers burn in red spots. The fumes entered my diaphragm offering a pleasant irritation; unfamiliar and exotic at the same time. The evening sun dips down the horizon sleepily. I blow a long fume into the opposing wind. It spat back at me. I smiled. Nature has been in constant opposition to man since I know. But the wind is my companion.

It is my second one of the day. I am breaking a rule. Well, rules are meant to be broken goes the old saying. I have never waited so long, that is another rule I’ll break today. What am I waiting for? Or who? I do not know? I have been waiting ever since I was born. For someone or something, doesn’t matter. They’ll come in the end. You cannot deny what has already been given. Maybe it’s the smoke, but I’ll still ramble. Who cares? I do. Well, I should. That is the least I could do to my own self.

I should get a girlfriend. That is what my friends seem to tell me. I never know why. As though women had the answers to everything? Nothing against women. Loneliness is not depressing. I like it. It offers me a certain freedom of thought. Lonely yet happy. It is a wonderful place to be. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to sit back on the steps outside a closed shop at night, not listening to anybody’s version of the day or about political arguments. Just sitting and watching the world dissolve into smoke. Like that song from dev anand’s film’ har fikr ko dhuey me udaata chala gaya’. But it won’t go away. It will always come back. Which is good, because by now you have cleared your lungs and are ready to dive in again.

This was good. Felt a little different. Surreal, but nice. I should speak to you more often. So what if you think I am a little looney? I am.

I exist as I am, that is enough,
  If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
  And if each and all be aware I sit content.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Her Eyes

I stood quietly by the corner

Watching patiently ,

Watching those black eyes

As they scanned the crowd,

They were beautiful.

They were true,

Night was not darker

And day was never so bright;

They sat on either sides of her nose

Bridging the two halves of a moon,

One that rose on my sleeping soul;

Nothing else did I see,

Nothing that could be

More beautiful

Except maybe her smile,

That shall be my one regret.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Death at the Crossing

I shall see his bloodstained face

For days and days to come;

His scream shall rent my dreams

At hollow nights and empty scenes,

I cannot forget him.

How still he stood, or his eyes

Set at sights in the distance;

He would’ve heard the wind,

Screaming into his ears

A song of death,

But it was too late.

He never turned to see

The rattle of metal wheels,

The clang of death’s shield;

And the moment was past.

His body twisted, limbs flailed

And mouth frothed in his soul’s blood;

Ripped apart by cold metal,

He ceased to be.

He was no longer a friend, son,

A lover or student.

He wasn’t even human anymore.

Food for cats, dogs and crows,

That is all he would be.

I saw a man die today,

It could have been me;

But it was his day.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Diwali..............

Today we sleep. In the cosy comfort of our blankets, we forget everything that was; for everything will be new. We shall wake up when the sun is still dark and light new lamps. Lights for our bright futures that will dot the earth like yellow stars while the sky shall still be black. Our naked skins covered by new clothes. Colours dot our foreheads and sweets stain our tongues. Rejoice. Rejoice for the day that comes.

I can’t. For everyday I see and feel and feel when I see. I see hungry women holding dirty children. Children corrupted by the pangs of hunger. I see men; ambitious, insensitive and cruel. I see promises caged in forgotten imaginations. Something I cannot forget. And everywhere I go, they haunt me. I sleep and wake up again wanting to know why it is so. Why is it that I celebrate and they watch? I have tried to make them go away. Bribe charities and missions and yet what I do is never enough. Something more wants to be done. A new face asks for something I cannot give. And like everybody else, I too shrug them off and walk ahead. But they remain… So I shut them away from my eyes by burning crackers, loud enough to drown their wails. I watch money burn up in piles as I let it fire up to the sky. I pig myself on dainty dishes and satiate my conscience. I lie and cheat and gamble upon it. And yet after these few days, I shall wake up with a heavy heart and wonder why I did what I did.

Maybe I should’ve walked down the street. Found a poor soul alone and hungry. I could’ve fed him a morsel or two. That’s what dickens in A Christmas Carol asks us to do. I should light up a few kids’ lives. Teach them how to use the fork and the knives. Not that I myself know. But it would be fun to do so. I know a beggar boy who could agree. He smiles every time he sees me. Honestly, that’s the best time of my day. When I see unknown souls rejoice that way.

And you know what he said to me today ……. “ Happy Diwali” HE didn’t even wait for me to say


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A letter From the Past

It has been so long a time that the form feels alien to me. I do not know why I chose to do this today, nor why this today… I have long been absent from this land of abstract thoughts, yet not long enough as to banish its memories form my own heart. What am I writing?? Nonsense.. Yes. But then not a lot of things are making sense these days. Those apart from the American President’s latest imperialistic conquest on Noble Minds. I feel like being surrounded by the fumes of memories like cigarette smoke that cloud everything in my view. I will have to hold my breath in order to see clearly. Hell, I might as well try connecting the dots.

Where did I last leave you guys and gals?? My graduation ? Yes, that tragedy happened. I graduated as a Bachelor of Arts. But Unlike Narayan’s hero, I never managed to find an Adventure along the way. Well, Que Sera Sera… So I had nothing else to do now? Unless I decide to spoil my wisdom even more by educating myself further. I now pursue the Masters along with a couple of other courses. Funny, I never imagined studying after my HSC debacle. The past is put into perspective from the future.

Hows Family?? Yeah. They’re good. Mom’s nervous about me being unemployed. Dad’s pissed off. I lack the ability to use hyperboles, so I’ll leave their expressions to your imagination. True. I should’ve been more responsible. I could’ve been somebody. I could’ve been a contender. I can’t do it as well as Brando; but the emotions are the same. Sorry for rambling about. Its hard to keep a rein on memories. They have a tendency to stray. More so when you’re filled with so many that you’ve to let out.

My days are long nights short. Nothing new, somethings older. I have lost weight ..Not a good thing if you’re me. I have lost hair. I have lost love. Come to think of it, I have lost a lot of things. As though I am on my way to become an ascetic. Ok. I may be overdoing it. But I no longer am the same person. Change is natural, even compulsory but it is not readily acceptable. I had a picture of me in my mind. Never knew it would be so wrong. But then C’est La Vie. I am no more than another nerd sinking under the weight of his knowledge. No more am I a rebel. No more a radical. Just another idiot who thought he could change the world. How stupid of me? The world changes without me doing anything. It changes us with it. So Forward dear heart, swim to further shores… Enough of this nonsense.

Is it still I, who there past all recognition burn?
Memories I do not seize and bring inside.
O life! O living! O to be outside!
And I in flames. And no one here who knows me.