Sunday, June 27, 2010

A personal survey

So, I heard my friends speak about me and realized they have a lot of mistaken opinions about me. So I wanted to know if everybody has the same opinions. Will help clear a lot of doubts about myself. So I have decided to make a questionnaire that I keep asking myself but find no answer to. It is hard to judge oneself. So please help me….

1. What is the one thing that makes me stand out? (I like to start with something goodJ)

2. What is the one thing that you absolutely hate about me?

3. One thing you would warn people who meet me for the first time about.

4. One thing you would like to see me change in myself

5. One thing you would absolutely not like me to change in myself

6. A career that you think I would be good at

7. One thing that, according to you, I can never do

8. Tell me one thing you would like to hear me say

9. Tell me one thing you would not like to hear me say

10. Finally, how would you remember me when I am dead.

Please, I am sending this out as an SOS…. Please be honest, and if possible. Good. I will give my defense of my actions in my further blogs…. So go ahead, crap the shite outta me… This is your chance.

PS : for people wondering how to write the comments….. just put number and answer the qstn… I expect some answers…

Thanks a lot for helping me on this matter. Your help is valuable to me. J

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The Mother

I stood on the kerb

Blowing smoke fairies

Into the misty grey skies

When I saw her child’s eyes

Bright as the sun and dark as the night

He was her day and night

I knew that for I knew her

She was a mother

Begging for her child’s hunger

Feeding her with her own life

Fighting death with her own blood

Till she dies, she lives

Living to not let him die;

I could not speak

The water choked my voice

Blinded my eyes

Just like it did hers

When she cried for help

When her child lay dying

In her lap

The same place where she gave him life

She watched him die.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Big Fat Liar : Why i lie...

I’ve been lying since my birth. I don’t know why, but I love it. It’s an art, like acting .You get into a different character and try to replicate the exact situation, and events just like they could probably happen. I hate to brag, but I am so good at this, that I can lie looking into people’s eyes. And what do I tell you about the adrenal rush? It’s like drinking whisky and trying to stand on the ledge of the window. But the simplest thing about lying is that it is not emotional, psychological or social. It’s just plain mathematics. Your capacity to lie is inversely proportional to your character on the consciential scale (sic) while being directly proportional to your character on the social scale. So, the better you lie, the better people believe you; except for the fact that you sometimes have trouble believing yourself. So how do you lie better than before?

1. Start early: Lying at an early age helps you to gauge people’s attitudes and temperament. Very helpful.

2. Lie big: People are more often likely to believe an unbelievable thing than a normal thing.

3. Be careful, but never be afraid: Try to make sure you lie carefully, never leave out anything. Even the minutest details can mess things up badly.

4. Lie good: Strange as it may sound, lie for the right reasons. If you can get away with the truth, speak truth. The lie is a more sacred weapon that has to be used rarely and carefully.

5. Remember your lies: Most important. Never forget them. Even if someone asks you about it a hundred years later,repeat the same story in exact details.. This will make your lies last longer and you will be more truthful than ever ;)

6. When caught, lie better: If you are caught when lying, which you will be, never be afraid to lie again. But lie better and more convincingly.

7. Never lose your cool: As hard as it is, you should never lose your cool when lying. Raising your voice, fidgeting, tip tapping, hum-hawing, or looking away is a strict no-no. Never ever do that if you want to be a good liar.

8. Liar liar pants on fire: Yeah, the saying is true. So think your act through. Don’t rush into the story. Make it up calmly as you go along.

9. Logic: Never lose touch of that. Regardless of how fictitious your account is, never lose that shade of logic. It makes it that much more incredulous.

10. You will be caught: Remember, you still will be caught some day. That’s the catch. It is eventual and inevitable. I am just helping you prolong it. See, I am the good guy.

If you want any further details on the art of lying and cheating, you can contact me by mail. Of course, I also provide help with affairs and scams. These extra deals would cost some nominal profit sharing. I have deals for all scales and kinds of budget, and lies. So you want to be a big, fat liar, you know who to hire!